I think today I have officially reached my bottom point and I have no idea what it means. I am married to a man with several addictions (although he will only admit to the alcohol) and I cannot go on like this anymore. My problem is that I love my husband but I hate the addict. I am tired of going to work in the morning feeling like crap because I could not meet his "needs" or I could not "satisfy" him. I am tired of feeling like a failure because he drank too much or got high and there were, shall we say, negative side effects that frustrated him. I have sat for too many years thinking that maybe losing a few pounds or wearing different clothes or faking enjoyment of the things he likes would some how bring him to satisfaction. I'm tired of being uncomfortable in my own house...in my own skin.
This morning, honestly, the only thing that kept me from just driving off the overpass was thinking about what it would do to the kids. Of course I don't know what is worse--being gone or being hollow.
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2 comments:
Bless your heart. I'm so sorry for you. I didn't think you'd written in days and for some reason my blog alert didn't tell me you'd been blogging. It may e time to give up on your marriage....but don't give up on yourself or your children. How old are the children?
Bless your heart. I'm so sorry for you. I didn't think you'd written in days and for some reason my blog alert didn't tell me you'd been blogging. It may e time to give up on your marriage....but don't give up on yourself or your children. How old are the children?
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